I remember the time I had a job working from 8 to 5 every day and working on my online business from 7 to 9 pm.
It was dark back then because I had a son, paying for my house, helping my family so i will get paid and spend the whole money before end of the day and leave with nothing.
During this time I met this lady, she was beautiful and fun to be around, so we started talking and one thing led to another we ended up kissing then then the reality hit me.
That experience changed the way I think about dating and this is the reason why I avoided dating when i was broke and if you are in the same situation, I will recommend you to learn from me and stay away from dating for a while.
Why I Avoided Dating When I Was Broke
Before i tell you my reasons I want to let you know that this is my personal experience you might have different experience and may be you can find someone who you can start together and build the life from there.
Severe time drain
I had a simple routine, wake up, eat breakfast go to my daily job do as much as I can, clock out at 5 pm, go home, eat something, speak with my son, work on my online business for two hours, rest and do it all over again tomorrow.
When I met this lady I had to spend some time with her, that means i had to cut it from my somewhere or sleep late and that messed up with my productivity.
Divided attention
Dating someone means you need to give them some kind of attention, they had a bad day, they want to tell you and you have to listen or at least pretend to.
Sometimes she used to call me during my deep work and if i did not pick up she will get upset, so most of time had to pick the call she will start speaking for hours, the momentum gone, when the call end, I am tired probably i would just go and sleep.
Increased expenses
You see, when you are broke, every dollar count, one dollar you spend on coffee, is the dollar you need to pay for the autoresponder or the hosting.
She was a nice lady, sometimes she would offer to pay, but she can not pay every time we go out, sometimes i had to step up and pay, this drained the money i did not have.
Compromised saving
One time her friends went to cancun and she wanted us to go, if you say no she will feel back, if you say yes, either you pay with credit card and go in debt or take my little saving i had and use them for vacation, it is a difficult situation to be in, i know some people will conside me cheap but when you are broke and you want to rebuild your life there are something you need to cut out, if you dont you will never leave the trenches.
Added Stress
Again, she was a lovely lady she wanted the best for us, she would tell me that we do not have to spend money we can just go for a walk but again, i could see that she was disappointed if i did get her a chocolate during that work and sometimes she would ask me where is my chocolate ( she love them), between this and me thinking this time I could be using to create content and build something it just increased the stress level.
Loss of momentum
Agiain every long call, every date, every small fight, it drained my momentum, this is not to put the blame on her but most of the time i had to chose to be with her or to build, it was very stressful.
Key take away
I ended that relationship, even though we liked each other it was not going to work between us. I focused in my projects and work and finaly I was able to get out the trenches.
I do not want to demonize relationship while you are trying to build your life and you are still broke, but if you realy want to build or rebuild your life, you need to focus, you need to forget about dating for a while, 6 months of focused actions can change your life forever.
If you are a young man and stressed out about money, my recommendation is this, stop all distractions in your life, pick something you enjoy, and build a content channel around it, it can be a blog, a youtube channel, an X account or any other social media account and monetize it, when you start making some money then you can go back to dating.